{"title":"Featured Products","description":"\u003cp\u003eCheck out our new and featured products!\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"2025-signature-hoodie-lolcow-live","title":"2025 Signature Hoodie (Lolcow Live)","description":"\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShow Your Herd Mentality in Style\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eMake a statement with our limited edition Lolcow Universe 2025 Signature Hoodie. This eye-catching piece features a bold cow-print design with contrasting color-blocked sleeves in vibrant red and blue that perfectly complement the black base.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"border: 2px solid #4a90e2; background-color: #f0f7ff; padding: 15px; margin: 20px 0; border-radius: 5px;\"\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"font-weight: bold; margin-top: 0; color: #2c5282;\"\u003ePERSONALIZATION OPTION\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin-bottom: 0; color: #2c5282;\"\u003eFor an additional $10, you can add your own custom name to appear on the right breast of the hoodie. If you choose not to add a name, this area will remain blank on the final product.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch2 class=\"text-xl font-bold text-text-200 mt-1 -mb-0.5\"\u003eKey Features:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc space-y-1.5 pl-7\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003ePremium zip-up hoodie with comfortable white hood featuring distinctive cow spots\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eCustomizable name option on the right breast\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eSelectable front badge representing your favorite Lolcow Universe show\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eStriking 2025 numeric design on the back\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eIconic Lolcow Live logo with 3D glasses-wearing cow graphic\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eSustainable construction: 95% recycled polyester, 5% spandex\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eSoft cotton-feel fabric outside with brushed fleece inside\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eUnisex relaxed fit with drop shoulders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eDouble-lined hood with premium drawstrings\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eDurable metal zipper details\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eThis collector's item celebrates the Lolcow Universe while letting you showcase your fandom in a bold, fashion-forward way. The playful cow motif combined with contemporary color blocking creates a statement piece that's both fun and stylish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eEach hoodie is made on demand especially for you, reducing overproduction and supporting sustainable practices. GRS (Global Recycled Standard) and OEKO-TEX Standard 100 certified fabric ensures quality and environmental responsibility.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eExpress your personality, display your fandom, and stay cozy in this unique, head-turning hoodie from the Lolcow Universe collection.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch1\u003eLolcow Universe Hoodie Size Guide\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eMeasurements in 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process.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"LolcowCo","offers":[{"title":"2XS","offer_id":50284294832407,"sku":"5872273_18522","price":99.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":50284294865175,"sku":"5872273_18523","price":99.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":50284294897943,"sku":"5872273_18524","price":99.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":50284294930711,"sku":"5872273_18525","price":99.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":50284294963479,"sku":"5872273_18526","price":99.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":50284294996247,"sku":"5872273_18527","price":99.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":50284295029015,"sku":"5872273_18528","price":101.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":50284295061783,"sku":"5872273_18529","price":103.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":50284295094551,"sku":"5872273_18530","price":105.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":50284295127319,"sku":"5872273_18531","price":107.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"6XL","offer_id":50284295160087,"sku":"5872273_18532","price":109.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0909\/2173\/0327\/files\/all-over-print-recycled-unisex-zip-hoodie-white-front-67d21efd0a10d.png?v=1741823970"},{"product_id":"krispy-keem-glazed-donuts-tee-black","title":"\"Krispy Keem Glazed Donuts\" Tee","description":"\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eRepresent your internet culture fandom with our exclusive \"Krispy Keem Glazed Donuts\" Tee. This eye-catching piece features a clever spin on a familiar logo, showcasing the perfect blend of humor and pop culture reference that fans will instantly recognize. The classic white tee provides the ideal canvas for this colorful parody design that's sure to spark conversations among those in the know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 class=\"text-xl font-bold text-text-200 mt-1 -mb-0.5\"\u003eKey Features:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc space-y-1.5 pl-7\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003ePremium 100% combed and ring-spun cotton construction (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eLightweight fabric (4.2 oz.\/yd.² | 142 g\/m²) with just the right amount of stretch\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eBold front print featuring the parody logo in vibrant red and green\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eInside label with branding\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003ePre-shrunk to maintain perfect fit wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eSide-seamed construction for a modern, contoured fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eShoulder-to-shoulder taping for enhanced durability\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eUnisex design that flatters all body types\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eBreathable fabric ideal for year-round wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eSuperior print quality that won't fade or crack\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eThis attention-grabbing piece celebrates internet culture with a witty take on a well-known brand. Show your appreciation for meme-worthy content with this clever statement tee that perfectly balances parody and style while referencing one of the community's most recognizable personalities.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eEach t-shirt is made on demand especially for you, reducing overproduction and supporting sustainable practices. Sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US, our shirts maintain high quality standards while supporting ethical manufacturing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eExpress your personality, display your internet culture knowledge, and stay comfortable in this perfect everyday white t-shirt featuring the unforgettable \"Krispy Keem\" parody design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch1\u003eT-Shirt Size Guide\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eMeasurements in 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break-words\"\u003eJoin the secret society of the Lolcow Illuminati with our exclusive Members T-Shirt. This enigmatic design features our sacred cow wearing iconic 3D glasses, crowned by the all-seeing eye and surrounded by golden laurel wreaths of wisdom. The perfect uniform for members of our elite fan community who know the truth: the cows have been watching all along. This mystical mashup of internet culture and conspiracy aesthetics creates the ultimate insider badge for true Lolcow Illuminati devotees.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2 class=\"text-xl font-bold text-text-200 mt-1 -mb-0.5\"\u003eKey Features:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc space-y-1.5 pl-7\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003ePremium 100% combed and ring-spun cotton construction (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eLightweight fabric (4.2 oz.\/yd.² | 142 g\/m²) with just the right amount of stretch\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eBold front print featuring the sacred Lolcow Illuminati emblem\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eInside label with branding\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003ePre-shrunk to maintain perfect fit wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eSide-seamed construction for a modern, contoured fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eShoulder-to-shoulder taping for enhanced durability\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eUnisex design that flatters all body types\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eBreathable fabric ideal for year-round wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eSuperior print quality that won't fade or crack\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eThis conversation-starting piece is your official membership card to the Lolcow Illuminati fan community. Whether you're attending secret meetings, spreading the good word of the enlightened cow, or just want to confuse the uninitiated, this shirt declares your allegiance to the most exclusive fan club on the internet. The mystical bovine sees all, knows all, and approves of your fashion choices.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eEach t-shirt is made on demand especially for you, reducing overproduction and supporting sustainable practices. Sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US, our shirts maintain high quality standards while supporting ethical manufacturing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eShow your membership in the Lolcow Illuminati, connect with fellow believers, and stay comfortable in this perfect everyday t-shirt that proves you're part of something bigger—something with horns and an all-seeing eye.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch1\u003eT-Shirt Size Guide\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eMeasurements in Inches\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eWidth\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eChest\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e16½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31-34\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34-37\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e38-41\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42-45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e46-49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e50-53\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e54-57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e58-61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e62-65\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eMeasurements in Centimeters\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eWidth\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eChest\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e68.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7-86.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e45.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e86.4-94\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e73.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e50.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e96.5-104.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e76.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e106.7-114.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e116.8-124.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e81.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e127-134.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e83.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e137.2-144.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e86.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e76.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e147.3-155\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e89\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e157.5-165\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eFit Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic Unisex Fit:\u003c\/strong\u003e This t-shirt offers a comfortable standard fit suitable for all genders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTrue to Size:\u003c\/strong\u003e The pre-shrunk fabric ensures the size you order is the size that fits\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRecommendation:\u003c\/strong\u003e For a more relaxed look, consider ordering one size up\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eAll measurements are taken with the item laid flat and may vary slightly due to the manufacturing process.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"LolcowCo","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":50772656783639,"sku":"8816960_11546","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":50772656816407,"sku":"8816960_11547","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":50772656849175,"sku":"8816960_11548","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":50772656881943,"sku":"8816960_11549","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":50772656914711,"sku":"8816960_11550","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":50772656947479,"sku":"8816960_12644","price":37.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":50772656980247,"sku":"8816960_12645","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":50772657013015,"sku":"8816960_12646","price":42.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":50772657045783,"sku":"8816960_11576","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":50772657078551,"sku":"8816960_11577","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 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class=\"product-description\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eBlast off into internet culture with our exclusive \"LOLCOW Space Force\" T-Shirt. This playful design features an astronaut cow wearing retro 3D glasses (one lens red, one blue), embodying the perfect blend of meme culture and space exploration. The whimsical character is set within a shield-style badge with \"LOLCOW\" and \"SPACE FORCE\" text, creating a humorous take on cosmic adventures that's sure to get laughs and start conversations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 class=\"text-xl font-bold text-text-200 mt-1 -mb-0.5\"\u003eKey Features:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc space-y-1.5 pl-7\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003ePremium 100% combed and ring-spun cotton construction (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eLightweight fabric (4.2 oz.\/yd.² | 142 g\/m²) with just the right amount of stretch\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eEye-catching front print featuring astronaut cow with 3D glasses\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eShield badge design with \"LOLCOW SPACE FORCE\" text\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003ePre-shrunk to maintain perfect fit wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eSide-seamed construction for a modern, contoured fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eShoulder-to-shoulder taping for enhanced durability\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eUnisex design that flatters all body types\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eBreathable fabric ideal for year-round wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eSuperior print quality that won't fade or crack\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eThis unique piece perfectly captures internet humor and space exploration in one entertaining design. Whether you're a meme enthusiast, space lover, or just appreciate quirky fashion, this shirt delivers both style and laughs. The astronaut cow with its retro 3D glasses represents the perfect collision of digital culture and cosmic dreams.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eEach t-shirt is made on demand especially for you, reducing overproduction and supporting sustainable practices. Sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US, our shirts maintain high quality standards while supporting ethical manufacturing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eJoin the LOLCOW Space Force and show off your sense of humor with this conversation-starting tee that's out of this world!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch1\u003eT-Shirt Size Guide\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eMeasurements in Inches\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eWidth\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eChest\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e16½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31-34\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34-37\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e38-41\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42-45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e46-49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e50-53\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e54-57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e58-61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e62-65\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eMeasurements in Centimeters\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eWidth\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eChest\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e68.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7-86.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e45.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e86.4-94\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e73.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e50.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e96.5-104.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e76.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e106.7-114.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e116.8-124.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e81.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e127-134.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e83.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e137.2-144.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e86.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e76.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e147.3-155\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e89\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e157.5-165\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFit Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic Unisex Fit:\u003c\/strong\u003e This t-shirt offers a comfortable standard fit suitable for all genders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTrue to Size:\u003c\/strong\u003e The pre-shrunk fabric ensures the size you order is the size that fits\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRecommendation:\u003c\/strong\u003e For a more relaxed look, consider ordering one size up\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eAll measurements are taken with the item laid flat and may vary slightly due to the manufacturing process.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"LolcowCo","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":50810795131159,"sku":"1065039_9527","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":50810795163927,"sku":"1065039_4016","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":50810795196695,"sku":"1065039_4017","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":50810795229463,"sku":"1065039_4018","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":50810795262231,"sku":"1065039_4019","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":50810795294999,"sku":"1065039_4020","price":37.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":50810795327767,"sku":"1065039_5295","price":39.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":50810795360535,"sku":"1065039_5310","price":42.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":50810795393303,"sku":"1065039_12871","price":44.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0909\/2173\/0327\/files\/unisex-staple-t-shirt-black-front-68b786ceb71f5.png?v=1756858077"},{"product_id":"stabert-lolcow-nuts-tee","title":"Stabert - Lolcow Nuts Tee","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"product-description\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eFrom the twisted, lovable chaos of the LOLCOW Universe comes our official Halloween drop: the \u003cstrong\u003e“Stabert”\u003c\/strong\u003e T-Shirt. Inspired by Albert’s knife-wielding alter ego from \u003cem\u003eLOLCOW NUTS\u003c\/em\u003e, this bold, comic-style print splashes vibrant oranges across a midnight-black tee with a deadpan glare that says, “spooky season, handled.” It’s horror-comedy energy—perfect for streams, parties, and anyone who lives for October vibes all year long.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 class=\"text-xl font-bold text-text-200 mt-1 -mb-0.5\"\u003eKey Features:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc space-y-1.5 pl-7\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003ePremium 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eLightweight fabric (4.2 oz.\/yd.² | 142 g\/m²) with soft hand-feel and comfortable stretch\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eFront print featuring Albert as “Stabert” with bold Halloween splatter and headline text\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eOfficial \u003cem\u003eLOLCOW NUTS\u003c\/em\u003e \u0026amp; LOLCOW Universe design—limited Halloween edition\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003ePre-shrunk to keep the fit locked in after every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eSide-seamed construction for a modern, flattering silhouette\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eShoulder-to-shoulder taping for durability during daily wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eUnisex fit that works for everyone—layer it or wear solo\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eBreathable fabric ideal for costumes, cons, streams, and year-round wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eHigh-quality print built to stay vibrant (no quick fading or cracking)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eThis tee captures the spirit of \u003cem\u003eLOLCOW NUTS\u003c\/em\u003e—a little unhinged, very funny, and instantly recognizable to fans. Wear “Stabert” to rep the show, spark conversations, and flex your Halloween cred.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eAdd “Stabert” to your spooky-season rotation and slice through the noise with a tee that’s equal parts fright and delight.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch1\u003eT-Shirt Size Guide\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eMeasurements in Inches\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eWidth\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eChest\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e16½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31-34\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34-37\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e38-41\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42-45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e46-49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e50-53\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e54-57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e58-61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e62-65\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eMeasurements in Centimeters\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eWidth\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eChest\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e68.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7-86.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e45.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e86.4-94\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e73.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e50.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e96.5-104.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e76.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e106.7-114.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e116.8-124.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e81.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e127-134.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e83.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e137.2-144.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e86.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e76.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e147.3-155\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e89\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e157.5-165\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFit Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic Unisex Fit:\u003c\/strong\u003e A comfortable, true-to-size silhouette for all genders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTrue to Size:\u003c\/strong\u003e Pre-shrunk fabric keeps your chosen size consistent after washing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRecommendation:\u003c\/strong\u003e Prefer a roomier streetwear look? 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