{"title":"Lolcow Cracked","description":"\u003cp\u003e🐄💀 The show that completely lost it. Lolcow Cracked merch — crazed zombie cow energy, jagged yellow CRACKED text, and pure unhinged chaos. Rep the most cracked show on the internet.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"lolcow-cracked-snapback-hat-spruce","title":"Lolcow Cracked Snapback Hat (Spruce)","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"product-description\"\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e🐄💀 Lolcow Cracked Snapback Hat (Spruce)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTop off your cracked look with this spruce\/teal snapback featuring the embroidered zombie cow and jagged yellow \"CRACKED\" text. The perfect headgear for anyone who has completely lost it — just like the show.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eProduct Specs\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e80% acrylic, 20% wool\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eStructured, 6-panel, high-profile\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEmbroidered design\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSnapback closure\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGreen undervisor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOne size fits most\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"LolcowCo","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51874155331863,"sku":"3056102_4809","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0909\/2173\/0327\/files\/classic-snapback-spruce-front-697f732baa573.png?v=1769960258"},{"product_id":"lolcow-cracked-pint-glass","title":"Lolcow Cracked Pint Glass","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"product-description\"\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e🐄💀 Lolcow Cracked Pint Glass\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA full pint of cracked energy. This shaker pint glass is for the truly unhinged — featuring the zombie cow that has completely lost it. Fill it up, crack open your favorite show, and embrace the chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eProduct Specs\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e16 oz shaker pint glass\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClear glass with printed design\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic shaker style\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHand wash recommended\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDurable for daily use\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"LolcowCo","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51874155430167,"sku":"2530451_16359","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0909\/2173\/0327\/files\/shaker-pint-glass-_16-oz_-16-oz-front-697f7334305e0.png?v=1769960266"},{"product_id":"lolcow-cracked-rocks-glass","title":"Lolcow Cracked Rocks Glass","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"product-description\"\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e🐄💀 Lolcow Cracked Rocks Glass\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePour one out for sanity — it left a long time ago. This rocks glass features the crazed Cracked zombie cow, perfect for sipping your drink of choice while watching the most unhinged show on the internet. Cheers to being completely cracked.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eProduct Specs\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e10 oz capacity\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavy base for stability\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClear glass with printed design\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHand wash recommended\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerfect for whiskey, cocktails, or whatever fuels your chaos\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"LolcowCo","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51874157494551,"sku":"8997577_19793","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0909\/2173\/0327\/files\/rocks-glass-10.5-oz-front-697f733f4eeba.png?v=1769960996"},{"product_id":"lolcow-cracked-tee","title":"Official Lolcow Cracked Tee","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"product-description\"\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e🐄💀 Official Lolcow Cracked Tee\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe show that completely lost it — now on your chest. Rep \u003cstrong\u003eLolcow Cracked\u003c\/strong\u003e with this premium unisex tee featuring the crazed zombie cow in all its unhinged glory. Olive green, yellow eyes, tongue out, brain barely intact. This is the merch for the truly cracked.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"border: 2px solid #FDD835; border-radius: 8px; padding: 12px; margin: 16px 0; background: #FFFDE7;\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e⚡ CRACKED Energy:\u003c\/strong\u003e Jagged yellow \"CRACKED\" text with our signature zombie cow — crossed eyes, decaying patches, and absolutely zero chill.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eProduct Specs\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMedium fabric (6.0 oz\/yd² \/ 203 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRuns true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes: XS – 5XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"LolcowCo","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":51874157560087,"sku":"7914703_9527","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":51874157592855,"sku":"7914703_4016","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":51874157625623,"sku":"7914703_4017","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":51874157658391,"sku":"7914703_4018","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":51874157691159,"sku":"7914703_4019","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":51874157723927,"sku":"7914703_4020","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":51874157756695,"sku":"7914703_5295","price":39.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":51874157789463,"sku":"7914703_5310","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":51874157822231,"sku":"7914703_12871","price":42.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0909\/2173\/0327\/files\/unisex-staple-t-shirt-black-front-697f73551e264.png?v=1769960290"},{"product_id":"lolcow-cracked-snapback-hat","title":"Lolcow Cracked Snapback Hat","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"product-description\"\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e🐄💀 Lolcow Cracked Snapback Hat\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eClassic black snapback with the crazed Cracked cow front and center. Unhinged energy on your head. The show that completely lost it deserves merch that matches — and this hat delivers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eProduct Specs\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e80% acrylic, 20% wool\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eStructured, 6-panel, high-profile\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEmbroidered design\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSnapback closure\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGreen undervisor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOne size fits most\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"LolcowCo","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51874157953303,"sku":"9607721_4792","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0909\/2173\/0327\/files\/classic-snapback-black-front-697f735ea7790.png?v=1769960299"},{"product_id":"lolcow-cracked-black-glossy-mug","title":"Lolcow Cracked Black Glossy Mug","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"product-description\"\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e🐄💀 Lolcow Cracked Black Glossy Mug\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStart your morning completely cracked. This black glossy mug features the unhinged zombie cow in all its glory — because your coffee should match your energy. The show that broke reality, now breaking your morning routine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eProduct Specs\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlack glossy finish\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCeramic construction\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in 11oz and 15oz\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMicrowave and dishwasher safe\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eVibrant wrap-around print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"LolcowCo","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51874160083223,"sku":"1189194_9323","price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51874160115991,"sku":"1189194_9324","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0909\/2173\/0327\/files\/black-glossy-mug-black-11-oz-front-697f73665896b.png?v=1769961665"},{"product_id":"lolcow-cracked-zip-hoodie","title":"Lolcow Cracked Zip Hoodie","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"product-description\"\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e🐄💀 Lolcow Cracked Zip Hoodie\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAll-over print insanity. This zip hoodie is as cracked as the show itself — cow print body, bold blue and red sleeves, white hood, and the unhinged Cracked zombie cow right on the chest. The show that broke the mold (and possibly reality) is now wearable chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"border: 3px solid #FDD835; border-radius: 10px; padding: 16px; margin: 16px 0; background: #FFFDE7;\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e✏️ PERSONALIZE IT!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAdd \u003cstrong\u003eYOUR NAME\u003c\/strong\u003e to this hoodie! After adding to cart, include your custom text in the order notes. Make this cracked hoodie uniquely yours.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eProduct Specs\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAll-over print unisex zip hoodie\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e95% recycled polyester, 5% spandex\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFabric weight: 6.19 oz\/yd² (210 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePremium all-over sublimation print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTwo side pockets\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes: 2XS – 6XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"LolcowCo","offers":[{"title":"2XS","offer_id":51874162180375,"sku":"2184330_18522","price":99.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":51874162213143,"sku":"2184330_18523","price":99.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":51874162245911,"sku":"2184330_18524","price":99.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":51874162278679,"sku":"2184330_18525","price":99.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":51874162311447,"sku":"2184330_18526","price":99.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":51874162344215,"sku":"2184330_18527","price":99.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":51874162376983,"sku":"2184330_18528","price":101.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":51874162409751,"sku":"2184330_18529","price":103.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":51874162442519,"sku":"2184330_18530","price":105.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":51874162475287,"sku":"2184330_18531","price":107.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"6XL","offer_id":51874162508055,"sku":"2184330_18532","price":109.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0909\/2173\/0327\/files\/all-over-print-recycled-unisex-zip-hoodie-white-front-697f7393e4651.png?v=1769960357"},{"product_id":"unisex-zip-hoodie-21","title":"Lolcow Cracked Racing Zip Hoodie","description":"\u003cdiv style=\"font-family: Arial, sans-serif; color: #333;\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"border: 2px solid #6D4C41; border-radius: 8px; padding: 12px; margin-bottom: 16px; background: #EFEBE9;\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong style=\"color: #6D4C41;\"\u003e🎨 PERSONALIZE IT!\u003c\/strong\u003e Want your name on the front? Select a personalization option at checkout and become part of the Lolcow Racing pit crew!\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"font-size: 1.1em;\"\u003e🎮 \u003cstrong\u003eCracked and never going back.\u003c\/strong\u003e The Lolcow Cracked Racing Zip Hoodie wraps you in an all-over NASCAR-inspired design featuring every Lolcow Universe show logo blazing down the sleeves, a checkered flag hood, and the iconic Cracked cracked-out gamer cow across the back. This isn’t merch — it’s a victory lap.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCrafted from recycled polyester with a soft, cotton-feel outside and brushed fleece inside. Relaxed fit with drop shoulders for maximum comfort whether you’re repping at an event or dominating the couch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 style=\"color: #6D4C41;\"\u003eProduct Specs\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e95–96% recycled polyester, 4–5% elastane\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFabric weight: 9.08 oz\/yd² (308 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft cotton-feel outside, brushed fleece inside\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit with drop shoulders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDouble-lined hood\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePremium drawstrings and zipper with metal details\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSelf-fabric collar and cuffs\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTear-away care label\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGRS (Global Recycled Standard) certified recycled content\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOEKO-TEX 100 standard certified fabric\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade to order — reducing overproduction, one hoodie at a time 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⅜\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e36 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29 ⅞\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e37 \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e37 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e38 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e39 ⅜\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33 ⅛\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e40 ⅛\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e36 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e43 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e45 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