{"title":"Lolcow Nuts","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"stabert-lolcow-nuts-tee","title":"Stabert - Lolcow Nuts Tee","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"product-description\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eFrom the twisted, lovable chaos of the LOLCOW Universe comes our official Halloween drop: the \u003cstrong\u003e“Stabert”\u003c\/strong\u003e T-Shirt. Inspired by Albert’s knife-wielding alter ego from \u003cem\u003eLOLCOW NUTS\u003c\/em\u003e, this bold, comic-style print splashes vibrant oranges across a midnight-black tee with a deadpan glare that says, “spooky season, handled.” It’s horror-comedy energy—perfect for streams, parties, and anyone who lives for October vibes all year long.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 class=\"text-xl font-bold text-text-200 mt-1 -mb-0.5\"\u003eKey Features:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc space-y-1.5 pl-7\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003ePremium 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eLightweight fabric (4.2 oz.\/yd.² | 142 g\/m²) with soft hand-feel and comfortable stretch\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eFront print featuring Albert as “Stabert” with bold Halloween splatter and headline text\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eOfficial \u003cem\u003eLOLCOW NUTS\u003c\/em\u003e \u0026amp; LOLCOW Universe design—limited Halloween edition\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003ePre-shrunk to keep the fit locked in after every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eSide-seamed construction for a modern, flattering silhouette\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eShoulder-to-shoulder taping for durability during daily wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eUnisex fit that works for everyone—layer it or wear solo\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eBreathable fabric ideal for costumes, cons, streams, and year-round wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eHigh-quality print built to stay vibrant (no quick fading or cracking)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eThis tee captures the spirit of \u003cem\u003eLOLCOW NUTS\u003c\/em\u003e—a little unhinged, very funny, and instantly recognizable to fans. Wear “Stabert” to rep the show, spark conversations, and flex your Halloween cred.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eAdd “Stabert” to your spooky-season rotation and slice through the noise with a tee that’s equal parts fright and delight.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch1\u003eT-Shirt Size Guide\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eMeasurements in Inches\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eWidth\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eChest\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e16½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31-34\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34-37\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e38-41\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42-45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e46-49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e50-53\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e54-57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e58-61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e62-65\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eMeasurements in Centimeters\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eWidth\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eChest\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e68.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7-86.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e45.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e86.4-94\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e73.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e50.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e96.5-104.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e76.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e106.7-114.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e116.8-124.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e81.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e127-134.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e83.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e137.2-144.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e86.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e76.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e147.3-155\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e89\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e157.5-165\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFit Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic Unisex Fit:\u003c\/strong\u003e A comfortable, true-to-size silhouette for all genders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTrue to Size:\u003c\/strong\u003e Pre-shrunk fabric keeps your chosen size consistent after washing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRecommendation:\u003c\/strong\u003e Prefer a roomier streetwear look? Order one size up\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eAll measurements are taken with the item laid flat and may vary slightly due to the manufacturing process.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"LolcowCo","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":51381378056471,"sku":"5009342_9527","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":51381378089239,"sku":"5009342_4016","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":51381378122007,"sku":"5009342_4017","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":51381378154775,"sku":"5009342_4018","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":51381378187543,"sku":"5009342_4019","price":37.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":51381378220311,"sku":"5009342_4020","price":39.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":51381378253079,"sku":"5009342_5295","price":41.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":51381378285847,"sku":"5009342_5310","price":42.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":51381378318615,"sku":"5009342_12871","price":42.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0909\/2173\/0327\/files\/unisex-staple-t-shirt-black-front-68d0be74c48d3.png?v=1758510730"},{"product_id":"lolcow-nuts-pint-glass","title":"Lolcow 'NUTS' Pint Glass","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhat's better than listening to the fucking loonies at Lolcow Nuts? Listening to them while drinking from a glass that's just as unhinged as they are. Say hello to your new favorite pint glass.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHosted by the legendary Scooter and Albert (Stabert), this glass is for the true fans. Featuring a cow that has clearly lost its mind, it’s the official mascot for going completely off the rails. With bloodshot eyes and a manic grin, this bovine lunatic perfectly captures the spirit of the show. It’s the ideal companion for your deep dives into internet chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBeyond its chaotic energy, this is a top-tier 16 oz shaker pint. It's built to hold your favorite craft beer, iced coffee, or whatever questionable concoction gets you through the day. The durable, classic design also makes it the perfect mixing glass for shaking up cocktails. Grab this glass, join the herd of loonies, and let everyone know you're proudly NUTS.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n    \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eGo Absolutely Nuts:\u003c\/strong\u003e Features a gloriously unhinged cow that perfectly represents the Lolcow Nuts community.\u003c\/li\u003e\n    \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eGenerous Capacity:\u003c\/strong\u003e Holds a full 16 oz (473 ml) of your preferred liquid sanity-saver.\u003c\/li\u003e\n    \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDurable Glass Construction:\u003c\/strong\u003e A simple yet sturdy design, ready for whatever chaos you throw at it.\u003c\/li\u003e\n    \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVersatile Shaker Shape:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ideal for enjoying a pint or using as a mixing glass for your Stabert-inspired cocktails.\u003c\/li\u003e\n    \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/strong\u003e To keep this cow crazy, please hand-wash only. It's too nuts for the dishwasher or microwave.\u003c\/li\u003e\n    \u003cli\u003eProduct sourced from China\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nDisclaimer: This is a handmade product from natural materials, so the glass may have some tiny imperfections, such as bubbles and dots.\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e16 oz\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5 ⅞\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"metric\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e16 oz\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e8.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e15\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"LolcowCo","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51389986472215,"sku":"4148253_16359","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0909\/2173\/0327\/files\/shaker-pint-glass-_16-oz_-16-oz-front-68d4a0036756f.png?v=1758765393"},{"product_id":"lolcow-nuts-official-stabert-scooter-tee","title":"Lolcow Nuts - Official Stabert \u0026 Scooter Tee","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"product-description\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eFrom the unhinged minds of Stabert and Scooter comes the official merch for the maddest show on the internet: the \u003cstrong\u003eLolcow Nuts Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e. This shirt captures the chaotic energy of every stream, celebrating the wild commentary and unforgettable moments that make the community legendary. Featuring a design that's part sports logo, part crazed bovine, it's the perfect way to show you're a true connoisseur of internet madness and a proud member of the herd.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 class=\"text-xl font-bold text-text-200 mt-1 -mb-0.5\"\u003eKey Features:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc space-y-1.5 pl-7\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003ePremium 100% combed and ring-spun cotton for max comfort during long stream nights\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eLightweight fabric with the right amount of stretch for a flattering, modern fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eOfficial Lolcow Nuts Design:\u003c\/strong\u003e The only way to authentically rep the chaos of Stabert \u0026amp; Scooter's streams\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eIconic Crazed Cow Graphic:\u003c\/strong\u003e A bold tribute to the unhinged energy that defines the show\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003ePre-shrunk fabric to ensure your fit stays true, wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eDurable side-seamed construction and shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eFabric weight: 4.2 oz.\/yd.² (142 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch1\u003eT-Shirt Size Guide\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eMeasurements in Inches\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eWidth\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eChest\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e16½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31-34\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34-37\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e38-41\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42-45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e46-49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e50-53\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e54-57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e58-61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e62-65\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eMeasurements in Centimeters\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eWidth\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eChest\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e68.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7-86.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e45.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e86.4-94\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e73.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e50.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e96.5-104.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e76.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e106.7-114.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e116.8-124.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e81.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e127-134.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e83.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e137.2-144.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e86.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e76.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e147.3-155\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e89\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e157.5-165\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFit Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic Unisex Fit:\u003c\/strong\u003e A comfortable, true-to-size silhouette for all genders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTrue to Size:\u003c\/strong\u003e Pre-shrunk fabric keeps your chosen size consistent after washing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRecommendation:\u003c\/strong\u003e Prefer a roomier streetwear look? Order one size up\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eAll measurements are taken with the item laid flat and may vary slightly due to the manufacturing process.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"LolcowCo","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":51390037131543,"sku":"1722671_9527","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":51390037164311,"sku":"1722671_4016","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":51390037197079,"sku":"1722671_4017","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":51390037229847,"sku":"1722671_4018","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":51390037262615,"sku":"1722671_4019","price":37.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":51390037295383,"sku":"1722671_4020","price":39.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":51390037328151,"sku":"1722671_5295","price":41.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":51390037360919,"sku":"1722671_5310","price":42.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":51390037393687,"sku":"1722671_12871","price":42.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0909\/2173\/0327\/files\/unisex-staple-t-shirt-black-front-68d4a5ac5119e.png?v=1758766975"},{"product_id":"nuts-official-lolcow-tee","title":"Nuts - Official Lolcow Tee","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"product-description\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eFrom the padded cells of the Lolcow Universe comes the official \u003cstrong\u003eNuts Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e. Hosted by the asylum's most legendary residents, Stabert (Albert) and Scooter, this shirt is the official uniform for the unhinged. It’s a monument to every chaotic stream, every unscripted meltdown, and the pure, unfiltered madness that defines an era. Featuring the iconic, wild-eyed \"Nuts\" cow, this shirt isn't just merch—it's a diagnosis. It’s a badge of honor for those who have witnessed the insanity firsthand and chosen to embrace it. Wear it to your next stream, out in public to confuse the norms, or just to show you're a card-carrying member of the digital asylum.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 class=\"text-xl font-bold text-text-200 mt-1 -mb-0.5\"\u003eKey Features:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc space-y-1.5 pl-7\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003ePremium 100% combed and ring-spun cotton for ultimate softness\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eLightweight fabric with a comfortable, modern fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eFeatures the iconic, wild-eyed \"Nuts\" graphic, capturing the pure energy of the asylum\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eThe official uniform for the unhinged, inspired by legendary residents Stabert and Scooter\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eOfficial LOLCOW Universe design—a must-have for any certified fan\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003ePre-shrunk to keep the fit locked in, no matter how chaotic things get\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eSide-seamed construction for a flattering silhouette\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eShoulder-to-shoulder taping for enhanced durability\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch1\u003eT-Shirt Size Guide\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eMeasurements in Inches\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eWidth\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eChest\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e16½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31-34\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34-37\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e38-41\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42-45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e46-49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e50-53\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e54-57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e58-61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e62-65\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eMeasurements in Centimeters\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eWidth\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eChest\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e68.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7-86.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e45.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e86.4-94\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e73.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e50.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e96.5-104.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e76.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e106.7-114.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e116.8-124.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e81.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e127-134.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e83.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e137.2-144.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e86.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e76.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e147.3-155\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e89\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e157.5-165\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFit Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic Unisex Fit:\u003c\/strong\u003e A comfortable, true-to-size silhouette for all genders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTrue to Size:\u003c\/strong\u003e Pre-shrunk fabric keeps your chosen size consistent after washing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRecommendation:\u003c\/strong\u003e Prefer a roomier streetwear look? 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Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003c\/small\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"LolcowCo","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51390560862487,"sku":"5960398_8936","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0909\/2173\/0327\/files\/cuffed-beanie-black-front-68d4b4e3d72f0.jpg?v=1758770732"},{"product_id":"2025-signature-hoodie-lolcow-nuts","title":"2025 Signature Hoodie (Lolcow Nuts)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWelcome to the Nut House!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStrap in, you absolute lunatic! The official Lolcow Nuts Signature Hoodie, hosted by the certifiably insane duo Scooter and Stabert (aka Albert), has finally dropped. This isn't just a hoodie; it's your uniform for chaos. With a classic black and white cow-print body, this zip-up goes completely off the rails with clashing red and blue spotted sleeves. It's loud, it's proud, and it lets everyone know you're part of the nuttiest herd on the internet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"border: 2px solid #4a90e2; background-color: #f0f7ff; padding: 15px; margin: 20px 0; border-radius: 5px;\"\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"font-weight: bold; margin-top: 0; color: #2c5282;\"\u003ePERSONALIZATION OPTION\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin-bottom: 0; color: #2c5282;\"\u003eFor an additional $10, you can add your own custom name or handle to the right breast of the hoodie. Make it truly yours! If you choose not to add a name, this area will remain blank on the final product.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eKey Features:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIconic Lolcow 'NUTS' badge on the left breast, featuring our unhinged mascot.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCustomizable name option on the right breast to stake your claim in the asylum.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eStrikingly chaotic design with a black \u0026amp; white cow-print body and clashing red \u0026amp; blue spotted sleeves.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInverted white \u0026amp; black cow-print hood for when you need to go full incognito-mode crazy.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrafted from soft, recycled polyester with a brushed fleece inside for maximum comfort during your shenanigans.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 95% recycled polyester, 5% spandex\u003cbr\u003e\n• Fabric weight 9.08 oz.\/yd.² (308 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Soft, cotton-feel fabric outside and brushed fleece inside\u003cbr\u003e\n• Unisex relaxed fit with drop shoulders\u003cbr\u003e\n• Double-lined hood\u003cbr\u003e\n• Moon patch on the inside of the back\u003cbr\u003e\n• Tear-away care label \u003cbr\u003e\n• Self-fabric collar and cuffs\u003cbr\u003e\n• Premium drawstrings and zipper with metal details\u003cbr\u003e\n• The recycled content of this product is certified under GRS (Global Recycled Standard)\u003cbr\u003e\n• The fabric is OEKO-TEX 100 standard certified\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product components sourced from China and the USA\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nDisclaimer: In areas where the fabric is double-layered (like pockets), details from the inner fabric layer may subtly show through, especially with lighter designs.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCHEST (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWAIST (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHIPS (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28 ⅜\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35 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⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e39 ⅜\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e46 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e48 ⅞\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e49 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e52 \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e45 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e52 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55 ⅛\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e48 ⅞\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55 ⅞\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e5XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e58 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e52 \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e59 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Nuts Dad Hat","description":"\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eAre you feeling a little... NUTS? Now you can show it off with the official hat of the Lolcow Nuts community! Hosted by the legendary duo, Stabert (Albert) and Scooter, this dad hat features the iconic, unhinged 'NUTS' cow embroidered right on the front. It's the perfect way to top off your look and let everyone know you're part of the herd. Grab yours and represent the glorious chaos!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 class=\"text-xl font-bold text-text-200 mt-1 -mb-0.5\"\u003eKey Features:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc space-y-1.5 pl-7\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eOfficial Community Merch:\u003c\/strong\u003e Features the wild-eyed \"NUTS\" cow in high-quality embroidery, making it a must-have for any true fan.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic Dad Hat Style:\u003c\/strong\u003e With its comfortable low profile, unstructured crown, and classic curved visor, this hat is an instant favorite for everyday wear.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePremium Comfort:\u003c\/strong\u003e Made from 100% chino cotton twill for a soft, breathable feel that lasts. (The Green Camo color is a 35% chino cotton twill, 65% polyester blend).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect Fit for Everyone:\u003c\/strong\u003e Features an adjustable strap with a stylish antique buckle, ensuring a one-size-fits-most comfortable fit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDetailed Construction:\u003c\/strong\u003e Built with a 6-panel, low-profile design, a 3 ⅛” (7.6 cm) crown, and 6 embroidered eyelets for ventilation.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% chino cotton twill\u003cbr\u003e• Green Camo color is 35% chino cotton twill, 65% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Unstructured, 6-panel, low-profile\u003cbr\u003e• 6 embroidered eyelets\u003cbr\u003e• 3 ⅛” (7.6 cm) crown\u003cbr\u003e• Adjustable strap with antique buckle\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"LolcowCo","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51399813726487,"sku":"4744502_12736","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0909\/2173\/0327\/files\/classic-dad-hat-dark-grey-front-68d9c5c192cb6.png?v=1759102449"},{"product_id":"lolcow-nuts-official-signature-windbreaker","title":"Lolcow Nuts Official Signature Windbreaker","description":"\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBrave the Herd, Rain or Shine!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eGet ready to go absolutely NUTS! The official Lolcow Nuts windbreaker, brought to you by the dynamic duo Scooter and Stabert, is finally here. This isn't just a jacket; it's your uniform for navigating the wild pastures of the internet. It features a sleek black body with a subtle tonal cow pattern, but the real party is on the sleeves and hood! A chaotic explosion of purple, orange, and cream spots ensures you'll stand out from the herd. Whether you're dodging bad weather or bad takes, do it in style.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"border: 2px solid #6B46C1; background-color: #f7fafc; padding: 15px; margin: 20px 0; border-radius: 5px;\"\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"font-weight: bold; margin-top: 0; color: #44337a;\"\u003ePERSONALIZATION OPTION\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin-bottom: 0; color: #44337a;\"\u003eFor an additional $10, you can add your own name or handle to the right breast of the windbreaker in signature Lolcow Nuts purple. Make it truly yours and show everyone you're part of the herd! If you choose not to add a name, this area will remain blank.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch2 class=\"text-xl font-bold text-text-200 mt-1 -mb-0.5\"\u003eKey Features:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc space-y-1.5 pl-7\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eFeatures the iconic crazed \"NUTS\" cow logo on the left breast, letting everyone know you're part of the chaos.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eWild purple, orange, and cream cow-spot pattern on the sleeves and hood for a look that's as unhinged as the show.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eSubtle black-on-black cow pattern on the main body for a touch of stealthy style.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eLightweight, water-resistant fabric to protect you from unexpected downpours and spilled drinks.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eBreathable mesh lining reduces static and keeps you comfortable, whether you're heated from the drama or the weather.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 2.21 oz\/yd² (75 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Lightweight, water-resistant fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Breathable mesh lining, reduces static\u003cbr\u003e• Regular fit\u003cbr\u003e• Elastic cuffs\u003cbr\u003e• Hood and side pockets\u003cbr\u003e• Zippable front\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCHEST 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¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"metric\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCHEST (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSLEEVE (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e53.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e64.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e73\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e58.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e75\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e66.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e76.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e68\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e63.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e68.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e80.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e69.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e68.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e82.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"LolcowCo","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":51411250512151,"sku":"9173152_15707","price":99.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":51411250544919,"sku":"9173152_15708","price":99.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":51411250577687,"sku":"9173152_15709","price":99.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":51411250610455,"sku":"9173152_15710","price":99.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":51411250643223,"sku":"9173152_15711","price":99.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":51411250675991,"sku":"9173152_15712","price":101.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":51411250708759,"sku":"9173152_15713","price":103.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0909\/2173\/0327\/files\/all-over-print-mens-windbreaker-black-front-68dc99f213264.png?v=1759287826"},{"product_id":"lolcow-nuts-black-glossy-mug","title":"Lolcow Nuts Black Glossy Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e☕ Welcome to the Nut House — now in mug form!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStart every morning like Scooter and Stabert: completely unhinged and fueled by caffeine. This black glossy mug features the iconic NUTS crazy cow logo — purple text, tongue out, zero chill. Whether you're sipping your morning brew or your 3 AM chaos juice, this mug says \"I've gone full Nuts and I'm not coming back.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for the Nut House kitchen, your desk at work (let them wonder), or hurling across the room when Scooter says something unforgivable. Again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Specs:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlack glossy ceramic mug\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in 11oz and 15oz\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMicrowave and dishwasher safe\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eC-handle for maximum grip during heated rants\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eVibrant, permanent print that won't fade\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• High-quality ceramic construction\u003cbr\u003e\n• Lead and BPA-free\u003cbr\u003e\n• Glossy black finish with full-color NUTS logo\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!","brand":"LolcowCo","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":51874020917527,"sku":"5914029_9323","price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":51874020950295,"sku":"5914029_9324","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0909\/2173\/0327\/files\/black-glossy-mug-black-11-oz-front-697f6195bd624.png?v=1769956227"},{"product_id":"lolcow-nuts-rocks-glass","title":"Lolcow Nuts Rocks Glass","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e🥃 Pour one out for sanity — you won't be needing it.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe official Lolcow Nuts Rocks Glass is here, and it's the only appropriate vessel for whatever you're drinking while watching Scooter and Stabert lose their collective minds on stream. Bourbon, whiskey, milk — we don't judge at the Nut House. Just pour it, swirl it, and embrace the chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFeaturing the iconic NUTS logo, this heavy-bottomed rocks glass is built to survive the kind of evening where Stabert goes full Albert and Scooter can't even. Which is every evening.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Specs:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePremium rocks glass (10 oz capacity)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavy, stable base — tipsy-proof (the glass, not you)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePermanent, high-quality print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHand wash recommended for longevity\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLead-free glass\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dimensions: 3.4\" × 3.1\" (8.5 × 8 cm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Weight: ~12.5 oz (354 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Capacity: 10 oz (296 ml)\u003cbr\u003e\n• NOT microwave or dishwasher safe — hand wash only\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!","brand":"LolcowCo","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51874021048599,"sku":"5671200_19793","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0909\/2173\/0327\/files\/rocks-glass-10.5-oz-left-697f61a992beb.png?v=1769956221"},{"product_id":"lolcow-nuts-all-over-print-hoodie","title":"Lolcow Nuts All-Over Print Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e🐄 Full-body NUTS. No escape.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou thought the Signature Hoodie was unhinged? Hold Scooter's energy drink. The Lolcow Nuts All-Over Print Hoodie takes the chaos and spreads it EVERYWHERE — a wild purple and orange cow-print pattern covers every inch of this thing, from hood to hem. The cartoon Nuts cow sits right on the chest with \"NUTS\" blazing in purple, and \"2025 NUTS\" is stamped on the back so people behind you know exactly what kind of person you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis isn't a zip-up — it's a full-send, pull-over, all-over print statement piece. Like the Nuts Windbreaker's slightly more insane cousin that Stabert refuses to take off.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"border: 2px solid #7c3aed; background-color: #f5f0ff; padding: 15px; margin: 20px 0; border-radius: 5px;\"\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"font-weight: bold; margin-top: 0; color: #5b21b6;\"\u003e🎨 PERSONALIZATION OPTION\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin-bottom: 0; color: #5b21b6;\"\u003eFor an additional $10, you can add your own custom name or handle to the \"Your Name Here\" area on the chest. Stake your claim in the Nut House! If you choose not to add a name, this area will remain blank on the final product.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eKey Features:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAll-over print design — purple and orange cow-print pattern on black base\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIconic NUTS cartoon cow logo on the chest\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\"2025 NUTS\" graphic on the back\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCustomizable \"Your Name Here\" area on the chest\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in sizes 2XS through 6XL — room for every kind of Nut\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade from recycled materials — go nuts AND go green\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 95% recycled polyester, 5% spandex\u003cbr\u003e\n• Fabric weight 9.08 oz.\/yd.² (308 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Soft, cotton-feel fabric outside and brushed fleece inside\u003cbr\u003e\n• Unisex relaxed fit with drop shoulders\u003cbr\u003e\n• Double-lined hood\u003cbr\u003e\n• Tear-away care label\u003cbr\u003e\n• The recycled content is certified under GRS (Global Recycled Standard)\u003cbr\u003e\n• The fabric is OEKO-TEX 100 standard certified\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product components sourced from China and the USA\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCHEST (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWAIST (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHIPS (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28 ⅜\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35 ⅜\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e36 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29 ⅞\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e37\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e37 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e38 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e39 ⅜\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33 ⅛\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e40 ⅛\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e36 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e43 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e45 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e39 ⅜\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e46 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e48 ⅞\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e49 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e52\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e45 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e52 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55 ⅛\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e48 ⅞\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55 ⅞\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e5XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e58 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e52\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e59\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e6XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e61 ⅜\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55 ⅛\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e62 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"LolcowCo","offers":[{"title":"2XS","offer_id":51874022064407,"sku":"6575387_18730","price":99.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":51874022097175,"sku":"6575387_10869","price":99.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":51874022129943,"sku":"6575387_10870","price":99.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":51874022162711,"sku":"6575387_10871","price":99.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":51874022195479,"sku":"6575387_10872","price":99.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":51874022228247,"sku":"6575387_10873","price":99.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":51874022261015,"sku":"6575387_10874","price":101.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":51874022293783,"sku":"6575387_10875","price":103.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":51874022326551,"sku":"6575387_18731","price":105.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":51874022359319,"sku":"6575387_18732","price":107.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"6XL","offer_id":51874022392087,"sku":"6575387_18733","price":109.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0909\/2173\/0327\/files\/all-over-print-recycled-unisex-hoodie-white-front-697f61ea30bf9.png?v=1769955893"},{"product_id":"unisex-zip-hoodie-9","title":"Lolcow Nuts Racing Zip Hoodie","description":"\u003cdiv style=\"font-family: Arial, sans-serif; color: #333;\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"border: 2px solid #FF6F00; border-radius: 8px; padding: 12px; margin-bottom: 16px; background: #FFF3E0;\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong style=\"color: #FF6F00;\"\u003e🎨 PERSONALIZE IT!\u003c\/strong\u003e Want your name on the front? 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