{"product_id":"lolcow-reaper-death-squad-hockey-jersey","title":"Lolcow Reaper Death Squad Hockey Jersey","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eJoin Xylie and Josh's Death Squad—no actual death required, just drip.\u003c\/strong\u003e This isn't your average hockey jersey; it's what the Reaper wears when he's off-duty and ready to cause chaos. Rep the darkest corner of the Lolcow universe with a jersey that screams \"I have impeccable taste and questionable morals.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eCrafted from 100% recycled polyester because even death cares about the environment now, this bad boy features \u003cstrong\u003emoisture-wicking fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e to keep you dry whether you're dominating the ice rink or just sweating through another unhinged Lolcow Reaper episode. The \u003cstrong\u003etwo-way stretch\u003c\/strong\u003e and relaxed fit mean you can move freely while looking absolutely menacing. Plus, \u003cstrong\u003eUPF50+ protection\u003c\/strong\u003e keeps the sun from reaping YOU—ironic, we know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis jersey is made-to-order just for you, which means it takes a little longer to arrive but also means you're not contributing to wasteful overproduction. Xylie and Josh would approve of your thoughtful consumer choices (probably). \u003cstrong\u003eGear up, Death Squad.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eSize Chart\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ctable border=\"1\" cellpadding=\"8\" cellspacing=\"0\"\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eA (Width)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eB (Length)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eC (Sleeve Length)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eD (Sleeve Width)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e21 ⅝\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27 ¾\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e9 ⅝\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e19 ½\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22 ½\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28 ⅛\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e9 ⅞\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e19 ⅞\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e23 ¼\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28 ¾\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e10\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20 ¼\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29 ⅛\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e10 ¼\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20 ⅝\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e25 ⅝\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29 ⅞\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e10 ⅜\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e21\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27 ⅛\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30 ⅞\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e10 ⅝\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e21 ½\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28 ¾\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31 ⅞\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e10 ⅞\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e21 ⅞\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30 ¼\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32 ⅝\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e11 ¼\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31 ⅞\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33 ⅝\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e11 ⅜\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22 ¼\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33 ½\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34 ⅝\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e11 ⅝\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22 ½\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e6XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35 ⅜\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e11 ¾\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22 ⅝\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"LolcowCo","offers":[{"title":"2XS","offer_id":51682985443607,"sku":"1474637_18666","price":65.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":51682985476375,"sku":"1474637_18667","price":65.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":51682985509143,"sku":"1474637_18668","price":65.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":51682985541911,"sku":"1474637_18669","price":65.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":51682985574679,"sku":"1474637_18670","price":65.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":51682985607447,"sku":"1474637_18671","price":65.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":51682985640215,"sku":"1474637_18672","price":67.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":51682985672983,"sku":"1474637_18673","price":71.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":51682985705751,"sku":"1474637_18674","price":75.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":51682985738519,"sku":"1474637_18675","price":78.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"6XL","offer_id":51682985771287,"sku":"1474637_18676","price":80.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0909\/2173\/0327\/files\/all-over-print-recycled-hockey-fan-jersey-white-front-693303e4832bf.png?v=1764951097","url":"https:\/\/checkout.lolcow.co\/products\/lolcow-reaper-death-squad-hockey-jersey","provider":"LolcowCo","version":"1.0","type":"link"}