{"product_id":"nuts-official-lolcow-tee","title":"Nuts - Official Lolcow Tee","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"product-description\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eFrom the padded cells of the Lolcow Universe comes the official \u003cstrong\u003eNuts Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e. Hosted by the asylum's most legendary residents, Stabert (Albert) and Scooter, this shirt is the official uniform for the unhinged. It’s a monument to every chaotic stream, every unscripted meltdown, and the pure, unfiltered madness that defines an era. Featuring the iconic, wild-eyed \"Nuts\" cow, this shirt isn't just merch—it's a diagnosis. It’s a badge of honor for those who have witnessed the insanity firsthand and chosen to embrace it. Wear it to your next stream, out in public to confuse the norms, or just to show you're a card-carrying member of the digital asylum.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 class=\"text-xl font-bold text-text-200 mt-1 -mb-0.5\"\u003eKey Features:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc space-y-1.5 pl-7\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003ePremium 100% combed and ring-spun cotton for ultimate softness\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eLightweight fabric with a comfortable, modern fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eFeatures the iconic, wild-eyed \"Nuts\" graphic, capturing the pure energy of the asylum\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eThe official uniform for the unhinged, inspired by legendary residents Stabert and Scooter\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eOfficial LOLCOW Universe design—a must-have for any certified fan\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003ePre-shrunk to keep the fit locked in, no matter how chaotic things get\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eSide-seamed construction for a flattering silhouette\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eShoulder-to-shoulder taping for enhanced durability\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch1\u003eT-Shirt Size Guide\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eMeasurements in Inches\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eWidth\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eChest\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e16½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31-34\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34-37\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e38-41\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42-45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e46-49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e50-53\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e54-57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e58-61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e62-65\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eMeasurements in Centimeters\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eWidth\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eChest\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e68.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7-86.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e45.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e86.4-94\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e73.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e50.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e96.5-104.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e76.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e106.7-114.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e116.8-124.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e81.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e127-134.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e83.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e137.2-144.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e86.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e76.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e147.3-155\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e89\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e157.5-165\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFit Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic Unisex Fit:\u003c\/strong\u003e A comfortable, true-to-size silhouette for all genders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTrue to Size:\u003c\/strong\u003e Pre-shrunk fabric keeps your chosen size consistent after washing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRecommendation:\u003c\/strong\u003e Prefer a roomier streetwear look? 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