{"product_id":"stabert-lolcow-nuts-tee","title":"Stabert - Lolcow Nuts Tee","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"product-description\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eFrom the twisted, lovable chaos of the LOLCOW Universe comes our official Halloween drop: the \u003cstrong\u003e“Stabert”\u003c\/strong\u003e T-Shirt. Inspired by Albert’s knife-wielding alter ego from \u003cem\u003eLOLCOW NUTS\u003c\/em\u003e, this bold, comic-style print splashes vibrant oranges across a midnight-black tee with a deadpan glare that says, “spooky season, handled.” It’s horror-comedy energy—perfect for streams, parties, and anyone who lives for October vibes all year long.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 class=\"text-xl font-bold text-text-200 mt-1 -mb-0.5\"\u003eKey Features:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc space-y-1.5 pl-7\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003ePremium 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eLightweight fabric (4.2 oz.\/yd.² | 142 g\/m²) with soft hand-feel and comfortable stretch\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eFront print featuring Albert as “Stabert” with bold Halloween splatter and headline text\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eOfficial \u003cem\u003eLOLCOW NUTS\u003c\/em\u003e \u0026amp; LOLCOW Universe design—limited Halloween edition\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003ePre-shrunk to keep the fit locked in after every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eSide-seamed construction for a modern, flattering silhouette\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eShoulder-to-shoulder taping for durability during daily wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eUnisex fit that works for everyone—layer it or wear solo\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eBreathable fabric ideal for costumes, cons, streams, and year-round wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words\"\u003eHigh-quality print built to stay vibrant (no quick fading or cracking)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eThis tee captures the spirit of \u003cem\u003eLOLCOW NUTS\u003c\/em\u003e—a little unhinged, very funny, and instantly recognizable to fans. Wear “Stabert” to rep the show, spark conversations, and flex your Halloween cred.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"whitespace-pre-wrap break-words\"\u003eAdd “Stabert” to your spooky-season rotation and slice through the noise with a tee that’s equal parts fright and delight.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch1\u003eT-Shirt Size Guide\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eMeasurements in Inches\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eWidth\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eChest\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e16½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31-34\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34-37\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e38-41\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42-45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e46-49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e50-53\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e54-57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e58-61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e62-65\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eMeasurements in Centimeters\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eWidth\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eChest\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e68.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7-86.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e45.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e86.4-94\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e73.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e50.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e96.5-104.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e76.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e106.7-114.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e116.8-124.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e81.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e127-134.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e83.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e137.2-144.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e86.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e76.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e147.3-155\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e89\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e157.5-165\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFit Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic Unisex Fit:\u003c\/strong\u003e A comfortable, true-to-size silhouette for all genders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTrue to Size:\u003c\/strong\u003e Pre-shrunk fabric keeps your chosen size consistent after washing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRecommendation:\u003c\/strong\u003e Prefer a roomier streetwear look? Order one size up\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eAll measurements are taken with the item laid flat and may vary slightly due to the manufacturing process.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"LolcowCo","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":51381378056471,"sku":"5009342_9527","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":51381378089239,"sku":"5009342_4016","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":51381378122007,"sku":"5009342_4017","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":51381378154775,"sku":"5009342_4018","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":51381378187543,"sku":"5009342_4019","price":37.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":51381378220311,"sku":"5009342_4020","price":39.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":51381378253079,"sku":"5009342_5295","price":41.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":51381378285847,"sku":"5009342_5310","price":42.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":51381378318615,"sku":"5009342_12871","price":42.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0909\/2173\/0327\/files\/unisex-staple-t-shirt-black-front-68d0be74c48d3.png?v=1758510730","url":"https:\/\/checkout.lolcow.co\/products\/stabert-lolcow-nuts-tee","provider":"LolcowCo","version":"1.0","type":"link"}